The Zero Dimension: December 2006

Wednesday, December 20, 2006

We are Numbers

We all got back our PSAT's. I felt pretty bad when the guidance man gave a big, drawn out speech about how important these are. He said that the last section, the writing section, "Won't count. No colleges look at that because it's new." But what he really meant was that it wasn't important.

I felt even worse in physics class when my fellow junior classmates told eachother their scores-- theirs being well over 1700, while mine rested at a mere 1440. Yeah, that made my day. One more bullet to my chest of intelligence. The only thing I felt good about was the fact that I scored 82% in the writing section, or in other words, the "section that doesn't count."

It amazes me how numbers, yes, numbers, determines a person, especially their future.

I mean really, why should it matter if a person is nice, or outgoing, or talented in a performing art, or a great cheff, or a beautiful singer, or a gracefull dancer, or a brilliant writer... no.. none of those things matter, of course. It's only the numbers on a sheet of paper that matters, right?

It especially hurts me because there's never an option of "Art". It's as if anyone who wants to be an artist, or a writer, is shunned upon, because it isn't a steady, stable job. It is too risky for anyone with a normal dream to chase after.

But it makes me happy. Even if I'm not the best of the best at it, even if I'm not a 1700+ PSAT scorer, even if the world puts down my dream... In the end, it's what makes me happy, and that should be all that matters for me. Me, and no one else.


Tuesday, December 19, 2006

Christmas, Give and Take, I'm a bad person...

It's Christmas time again and all the gifts are being exchanged... or are they? I know every year I give gifts to my friends, and then I feel bad when someone I'm not really friends with gives me, yes, ME, a gift, and I didn't get them anything in return. I usually buy them a gift after Christmas, but it's not the same, ya know?

I especially feel horrible this year. My mother always gets me such wonderful gifts, and I realised that I never really get her anything for Christmas. I don't even think about it inhead of time! I feel so horrible... You see, I don't have any money to get her a gift because I don't have a job, and I don't have a job because I have no transportation to one. The only way I make money is by doing chores that my mom assignes me to do, and even then it still wouldn't be enough to get her anything decent...

And my boyfriend, Ted. He's been hinting to me that he's gotten me wonderful gifts, like always. And all I got him (well my mom really bought it, I have to pay her back), I got him a $50.00 silver watch and a "Best 18 songs" CD of U2. In total that only adds up to about $70.00. Ted spends well over $100.00 for me... I feel like I can't give him an equal gift. I know it's not suppose to matter how expensive it is, but, we all in the back of our minds at some point think, "Wow, I gave that person a really nice gift, and all I got was some cheap thing in return." Know what I mean? We don't want to think like that, but we do.

Here's the catch. People say, "Well use your tallent and draw her something." Yea, I could do that, but... I dunno... I feel like I don't know what to draw her. I always wanted to make a painting of my mom and me, but I've been to lazy to do it.

This is why I feel horrible. I recieve but I don't give... because I can't give... at least not anything of equal value.

Monday, December 18, 2006

This Week's LARPing Event

This weekend was LARPing again! I NPC'd again (Non-Player-Character AKA: The Bad Guys...)
The event this week had to do with a Toy Maker Plot line. It was pretty fun. We all got to be toys. At the final battle on Saturday night I got to be a toy Cave Bear! MUAHAHAHA! Those bears are SOOO powerful. I rocked the PC's like a hurricane. Ah man, I'm starting to sound like Al and Corteeze. Anyway, one of the bad guy bosses was a giant evil Jack-in-the-box played by Erin and Sean. Everyone, including me, laughed at it because it was so funny. Sean did the best voice for it EVER. It was so great. And the main boss was the "Naughty Nice Machine." It said that all of the Tradesmen of Evermoore were naughty, and then proceeded to try and kill them all. The NPC's really won the battle that night. Susanne just told us to let the PC's win... that so not fair.... :(

Judgment Day (For LeAnne)

Characters

Chad Alexander: Chad Alexander is a tall, clean cut brunette in his late twenties. He has a slight British accent and a mysterious twinkle in his eye. Chad was born with a gold spoon in his mouth and a fat sum of money so great that he could buy practically everything he wished. Matters always go in to Chad’s favor, perhaps because he bribes politics and ordinary people to bend to his will. A woman can always be found glued to him or his ear. He is very boastful and arrogant. He is feared by his own friends because of his power and his thick ego. He loves to be center of attention except for when it is he who is being scolded. But it is no worry for Chad, for he always finds a scapegoat.

The Voice: A warm, glowing light that has no real form or shape. It is the voice of reason and judgment.

The Hands of the Demons: Slimy, rancid, brown and rotting, jagged nailed hands of daemons that grab and torture a victim on his way to Hell.

Setting:

Setting A: “The Mercedes” Setting A takes places in Chad’s gold painted Mercedes. He is sitting in the car while driving down the highway.

Setting B: “The Darkness” Setting B is an abyss of darkness. All the lights are turned off and serene music plays softly in the background

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Chad Alexander is sitting comfortably in the warmth of his Gold Mercedes car seat. He is cruising down the highway yapping on his cell phone.

Chad: Talking on his cell phone. Oh, Bridget! The party last night was marvelous! Looks into his rear view mirror at his face. The wine they served was aged to perfection. Nods to Bridget’s voice. Oh, yes, yes. By the way dear, did you happen to notice the new suit I bought? Phone begins to static. Looking at his phone. Hello? What? I can’t hear y- An overly large dump truck smashes directly into the side of Chad’s Mercedes.

Lights are turned off. There is silence. Soft, serene music plays gently in the background.

Chad: Eyes slowly open. Noticing that he is in complete darkness he panics. What- where- how- I can’t see! Where is my car? Drops to the ground and frantically pats everywhere.

A dim light slowly emanates at an uncertain distance away. Seeing the light, Chad stops patting the ground and rises to his feet.

The Voice: Chad Alexander.

Chad: Momentarily startled and frightened. He looks about himself. Who, me?

The Voice: Chad Alexander, tell me, do you think your life has been rewarding?

Chad: Body begins to tremble. Well, yes, of course I do. I’ve made more money than a king could ever imagine! Who wouldn’t think that’s rewarding?

The Voice: Angry. With a raised voice. Those who you worked with. Those you have lived with. Those you have fired. Those who you have lied to…

Chad: Eyes rapidly search around the room for a scapegoat, but he realizes that he is the only one present. He tries to evade the voice’s anger. Ah! Com’on! I’m not all that bad! I’ve helped people before! Thinks deeply. Umm… uh… How about that homeless woman? She begged for a blanket, but I didn’t have one. Yeah, it was cold out that day, but I didn’t have any blanket to give her! So instead I gave her my latte! Oh, wait… It was almost empty… Lowers his head in embarrassment.

The Voice: Thundering. That lady died that night because you couldn’t give her a blanket. You were to blinded by the thoughts of your warm home that you were in such a hurry to get to. You never put yourself in another’s shoes, Chad Alexander.

Chad: I… I… I believe I have-

The Voice: Cuts off Chad. Still thundering. Silence! You have yet to remember the widow.

Chad: Stuttering with fear. What widow?

The Voice: How dare you forget the face of Susanne. She was pregnant when you ruthlessly fired her even though she pleaded you to keep her. You replaced her with your half-whit friend, leaving her poor soul without a job. Shortly after she had her son she was forced to put him up for adoption due to lack of support. A lack of money. Right now Susanne is lucky if she can even eat a slice of bread at night! Voice grows loud and angry. Look at that which you have done! You Chad Alexander, you!

Chad: Trembling. No! No! I never wanted those things to happen to them!

The Voice: Your actions have already been made! Your choices have already taken their toll! Time after time you’ve been handed the chance to straighten your way, but each time you have thought of no one but yourself!

Chad: Breaks down. It’s so hard! It’s so hard!

The Voice: Your time is up! Your fate has been sealed by no other but you! It is time to be rewarded justly for your actions!

Chad: Shakes his head left and right. His eyes grow wide. No! I take it all back! I’ll be a better person! I’ll try harder! I’ll donate to needy organizations, and, and, and I’ll give my money to the poor! I’ll even give Susanne her job back! Please! Don’t hurt me!

The Voice: Rumbling as it slowly fades. Do to others as you would have others do to you.

Chad: Eyes light up. Does this mean you’re giving me a second chance? No, wait, don’t go! Answer me!

The light completely fades from sight and it is now dark again. An unusual noise can be heard from a distance. The sound draws nearer and nearer.

Chad: A puzzled expression upon his sweaty face. He raises his hand to his ear and cups it to amplify the unknown sound. Why, that sounds like, like… Eyes grow wide with horror. No! No! No! His fear locks up all of his muscles, hindering his movement. No! No! No! Go away! Go away! Help me!

The sound of jagged claws scraping against steel and the moaning and biting of one thousand demons approach Chad. Multitudes of slimy, rotting, decrepit hands claw and grab angrily at Chad.

Chad: Screaming and struggling for his life. No! Get off of me! I’m sorry! I’m sorry! Don’t take me away! I’ll change! I’m sorry! Please give me a second chance!

Chad Alexander is dragged into the pits of Hell. His voice his never heard again.

Sunday, December 10, 2006

Head Automatica Concert

So my boyfriend won tickets from G-Rock radio to go see the band, Head Automatica, in the Starland Ballroom on Dec. 9th. It also included a band meet.

So I went there with Ted last night. We got to chill in the VIP lounge and play pool for a while. One of the opening bands came in and they signed my right shoe. Next Head Automatica came in and I got my left shoe autographed by all the members. The bass guitarist has a huge nose and he seemd really cocky. The lead singer and the lead guitarist were practically ignoring us, but the drummer was pretty cool. He was kinda cute and he had this really sweet spiked hair with these goofy thick rimmed glasses. He actually smiled and talked to us.

After head automatica came in some other opening band came in. I got my left shoe signed by them too.

Ted stole my idea and requested that each band member from both groups draw a picture on our G-Rock shirt. So they each drew a picture. I can safely say that though they have an extraordinary tallent in music, they have no tallent in art. : )

I didn't really enjoy the concert too much, I didn't really like their style of music. The band leader kinda ticked me off to when I was reading their web site and he said that he thinks the old school Blink 182 is crap. Psshh, he doesn't know good music when he hears it!

In all my favorite part of that night was getting lost in North Jersey with Ted and his GPS... yea.. we got lost even with a GPS... w00t.

Wednesday, December 06, 2006

Complaints

I'm gonna rant off on some complaints I have! : )

How come in almost every online video game I play (MMORPG or just RPG) there's ALWAYS a
girl (or maybe guy? o-o;) user who has to make their user name something really mushy like "XoXoCuti3BabieeX3" or "s3xyBabee". It's always "___Babee"! It ticks me off! To me that degrades girl's morals to nothing more then a stupid stereotypical, brainless, ditsy girl! Grrrrr.
Why can’t they have a more normal or perhaps masculine name like "AirAvenger" or "Sarah___".
Seriously.

The other thing is girls (it's mostly girls) who have to be texting to their friends in the middle of class, and the clicking "boop boop boop boop" sound of the buttons- I can hear them- and it annoys the poop out of me!!!! ARRRGGGG! It’s these ANNOYING little "boop boop boop" sounds of the girls annoying fingers annoyingly pressing the buttons! IT's SO DESTRACTIVE!!! It happens every day to me to. I just want to whip my head around and scream, "WHY DON'T YOU STOP TEXTING IN CLASS BECAUSE IT'S REALLY DESTRACTIVE!"
And 98% of the time the teachers NEVER even see or hear the girls/guys doing it!! Grrrrrr!

I also hate how some people will have a my space account and they'll try to be someone their not on it. You'll meet them in person, then you'll go check out their my space and it's as if you're looking at a totally different person. People try to be something their not on myspace (half the time, half the people) mainly because I think it's so impersonal. Also, the people that have like 100+ or even 200+ friends on it, YEA RIGHT. I doubt even 30 of the 100+ friends are actually
"friends".