Christmas, Give and Take, I'm a bad person...
It's Christmas time again and all the gifts are being exchanged... or are they? I know every year I give gifts to my friends, and then I feel bad when someone I'm not really friends with gives me, yes, ME, a gift, and I didn't get them anything in return. I usually buy them a gift after Christmas, but it's not the same, ya know?
I especially feel horrible this year. My mother always gets me such wonderful gifts, and I realised that I never really get her anything for Christmas. I don't even think about it inhead of time! I feel so horrible... You see, I don't have any money to get her a gift because I don't have a job, and I don't have a job because I have no transportation to one. The only way I make money is by doing chores that my mom assignes me to do, and even then it still wouldn't be enough to get her anything decent...
And my boyfriend, Ted. He's been hinting to me that he's gotten me wonderful gifts, like always. And all I got him (well my mom really bought it, I have to pay her back), I got him a $50.00 silver watch and a "Best 18 songs" CD of U2. In total that only adds up to about $70.00. Ted spends well over $100.00 for me... I feel like I can't give him an equal gift. I know it's not suppose to matter how expensive it is, but, we all in the back of our minds at some point think, "Wow, I gave that person a really nice gift, and all I got was some cheap thing in return." Know what I mean? We don't want to think like that, but we do.
Here's the catch. People say, "Well use your tallent and draw her something." Yea, I could do that, but... I dunno... I feel like I don't know what to draw her. I always wanted to make a painting of my mom and me, but I've been to lazy to do it.
This is why I feel horrible. I recieve but I don't give... because I can't give... at least not anything of equal value.
I especially feel horrible this year. My mother always gets me such wonderful gifts, and I realised that I never really get her anything for Christmas. I don't even think about it inhead of time! I feel so horrible... You see, I don't have any money to get her a gift because I don't have a job, and I don't have a job because I have no transportation to one. The only way I make money is by doing chores that my mom assignes me to do, and even then it still wouldn't be enough to get her anything decent...
And my boyfriend, Ted. He's been hinting to me that he's gotten me wonderful gifts, like always. And all I got him (well my mom really bought it, I have to pay her back), I got him a $50.00 silver watch and a "Best 18 songs" CD of U2. In total that only adds up to about $70.00. Ted spends well over $100.00 for me... I feel like I can't give him an equal gift. I know it's not suppose to matter how expensive it is, but, we all in the back of our minds at some point think, "Wow, I gave that person a really nice gift, and all I got was some cheap thing in return." Know what I mean? We don't want to think like that, but we do.
Here's the catch. People say, "Well use your tallent and draw her something." Yea, I could do that, but... I dunno... I feel like I don't know what to draw her. I always wanted to make a painting of my mom and me, but I've been to lazy to do it.
This is why I feel horrible. I recieve but I don't give... because I can't give... at least not anything of equal value.
posted by TR5Taryn at 5:24 PM
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